Monday, September 01, 2014

#thefappening by the numbers!

Last night I witnessed the Internet do the one thing that I think it was born to do #thefappening.

#Thefappening is born out of a few things that are really not newsworthy. It's not newsworthy that celebrities, especially attractive B list celebrities, would take nude photos of themselves on unsecured cell phones. It's also not newsworthy that all of these unsecured images of nubile nude bodies are somehow floating in the ether-ware that is the cloud. Also it's not newsworthy that anything in the cloud is subject to be hacked and disseminated.

Pure and simple what was newsworthy with the sheer volume of people spectating this madness. At 1 AM I was still watching a form on Reddit thread that had 36,800 active viewers. This was nearly 7 hours after your initial bombardment of nude images. Even as new images appeared, in all more than 100 celebrities have been targeted, Torrents and zip files in the hundreds of megabytes are being distributed like baseball cards at a six-year-old convention. Well I don't know what kind of numbers 4Chan was pulling down for all these things let's just look at some numbers based on my thread alone.

If we assume only one in 25 males was actually masturbating who watch this thread, that gives us 1,472 men who were happier playing along at home. You'll be on average 2.5 teaspoons per ejaculate 4Chan helped create a way to decimate the gallon challenge... Producing nearly 5 gallons of semen. All told at somewhere between 50 and $100 per donation of sperm typically paid, we lost a net revenue of nearly $74,000 in that one thread last night. If I were Jennifer Lawrence and her freshly unveiled boo bees, I would probably make a strong convicted approach to say go donate the proceeds from all your sperm you're donating on your computer monitors to my pictures to some worthy charity. And besides we're all fooling ourselves thinking only 1 in 25 wanted to satisfy their "hunger games "

But I digress...

Knowing that all these individuals were waiting for more images to upload they were constantly refreshing the website on average every five seconds. The thread help nearly 400 MB of images plus who knows how much and text let's call it 425 total megabytes of information per page refresh. Multiply this by our total viewers of just this thread alone, And we find it we are pushing nearly 14.9 TB of thorough put every five seconds they hit refresh.

So what? Well Jennifer Lawrence's booby's are best known for the hunger games 2013 release which is 142 minutes long. The DVD comprises about 25 GB of data in a Blu-ray form. This means Jennifer Lawrence and her bouncy's are worth about 900 Mb per every five seconds of her appearance on film. We are nearly 15 times the amount of data every five seconds just in still images that she is worth in 1080p x 5 .1 channel surround sound. It's possible she could move more data if she took off more clothing as our boys at 4chan found out.

But wait here's more. Last year the Super Bowl average 111 million viewers. It was carried on network television composing about 19.5 Mb per second to stream a three hour game. Which whatever and all that means a total amount of data moved for the game was approximately 4,458,732TBs. By our comparison our one thread was pushing 32,184 TB in the same time... With just text and some pictures. Or... About 1% of the entire volume of data needed to carry the Super Bowl around the world by .03% as many viewers.

The pains the screams the stained carpet but what other costs can there be???? Or so screams J Law's lawyers???

So the power up our computers lets low "ball" it some more. Let's be stupid and say our power supplies for monitor and computer use just 300 W per second. Multiply this by or 36,800 viewers only, And every refresh of five seconds of golden panties bills out we are consuming 55.2 mega watts of energy. Or about 40,000 MW per hour! Jumping G strings Batman! On average a Kilowatt hour is about $.15 in the United States. Meaning Those refresh of fun bags cost us nearly $10,000 in energy use.

That my friends is a great "American Hustle."

Unless you really want to stop there.   At 1am, on my facebook feed I had 15 people actively viewing and discussing this out of my 600ish friends.  Thats about .25%.  So lets say of the 300 million American's lets extrapolate and say .25% were logged into OTHER threads watching this.  That summons the Hoarde of 7.5 million boobie seekers.  Meaning.  Nearly half as many people were up at 1am watching for Beverly Hills Punanny as watched the Walking Dead premier [15 million], 11x as many as watch Sports Center all day [660,000 per 6a to 6p], but just about a quarter as many as watched the latest State of the Union Address [33 million].

Now you're getting the hint about the power of #thefappening by the numbers.

S