Its a fair question. I tend to run away. The hardest part about having a long term commitment with my blog. Much like a mate, my blog and I have had moments where we separate and come back together again. I think… think, that this is the initial “get back together” awkwardness that symbolizes the reconciliation. So a brief explanation of the past few weeks…
Well going back to April. The “me” part of the relationship was true this time, when I say, its not you; blog, its me. Keeping a personal narrative short, I found out that I’m diabetic. Among other things. While being diabetic itself isn’t much of anything [18 million Americans plus are diagnosed, with nearly 60 million in a pre-diabetic state], its the rest of my life, is diabetes. Confused? Its not something you take a pill for, and poof, a month later its done. Its something I can’t forget about. I’m also under going other tests at this point for other things. Here again, the point really is; I’m getting old. Period. I need to come to the understanding that I won’t live forever. Instead, mortality lies ahead of us at every turn.
Aside from that. I spent some time alone, outside of the digital world. I’ve been drifting around the swirls of my own imagination. Translate that to mean more photography and more writing. Not that either are particularly good; but I’ve made an effort to do more of it. It seems like I’ve had to spend more time focusing on my physical state, knowing that, I know I need to focus more on my mental state. Expressing things on paper and in print helps. The frustration and the underlying uncertainty of life ahead is as helpful to the process as anything else could be. Maybe more on that later. I’ve been told I should push for a Lulu.com release. Maybe.
As far as the rest of my life; its consumed with working, and hiding from the fear of myself. I’ve even avoided consuming media as much as I had been accustomed to. Netflix is happy with this decision, as are the 5 news blogs, and 6 podcasts I subscribe to. As for now, I think I’m willing to take the “pause button” off for a while. Maybe get back to a state of normalcy, if I can.
